Driving Under the Influence of Zumba

Today at 8:43pm
Zumba: A latin & Hip Hop based aerobic dance class that originated in Miami.

I attended a Zumba class at Gold's and the teacher was a fill in. I stalked her and found that her home gym was the Y. I attended her class at the Y this past Saturday afternoon. I walked into the crowded studio and claimed a spot in the rear. The music started and I began pumpin' it. A foul smell reached my nose that I can only describe as a cross between onion, cumin, ass and elbow. I started doing the discreet body odor check on myself (it was a late August afternoon, after all). Dancing, I did the armpit sniff- nope all good. The next check was more tricky so I took advantage of a deep bend, nope- not bad there either. I was fully concerned that it was me and I started contorting myself and doing the scratch and sniff getting so enthralled in the search that I didn't realize we were at a pause and everyone was watching me in the mirrors look like I was having a make out session with myself. I was mortified. The music started and I was satisfied that the lady next to me was the one giving off the smell of chicken fried crotch and onions. The damage had been done- I was the weird one in class...
Leaving quickly when the class was over I jumped into the car and backed out. I didn't see the curb and sidewalk next to my car and BANG!!!!!! I was up on the curb and SCREEEETCH I dragged the car over the sidewalk until BAM!! I came off of it. The wide eyed people in the parking lot were grabbing younguns' like a wild bear was loose and they were glaring at me like I was a Amy Winehouse leaving a cocktail party. I navigated the car to the red light as it dragged the front end home like a plastic blanket. I can't wait til next Saturday!